So this is me - day one. At the moment I am not planning on posting this blog but if you are reading this online then I changed my mind. So I am starting on a year of me. Putting myself top of the list and my health my priority. Why start now and not the 1st of Jan - well why not? I feel I have put me and my health off for about 30 years or more so I really need to get a move on.
To be honest this is nothing new I have started things like this probably every year in the last 30 years but I never see it through and more than that I think I put myself under pressure. What do I mean - well I always seem to be trying to do it for something for a reason - getting married, turning 40, getting a divorce, getting married again, to be healthy for my kids, turning 50. I mean for gods sake there are enough reasons. I even went on the TV show - A year in my Life with Davina...…and failed.
So this time I am writing a blog as I know I will fail but I not only want to understand why but I want to prove to myself that I can push past small failures and continue not give up completely.
I am hoping writing this blog every day will keep me accountable plus I want to force myself to change my habits. I am asking myself to give over 1 hour a day to me. That's 365 hours over the next year. So that's less time playing a game on my phone or watching some naff TV show.
The reality is I am short and fat - classed as clinically obese. I am getting close to 15 stone. Now for many years I was well over 15 stone and I lost weight when I got Covid and I was determined not to go over the 15 stone mark and I have succeeded (see I can do it - its a small win but its a win). However I am close to it again and I don't want to creep over so here we are.
So I have a food tracking app - Turtle its called. To be honest they had a great Black Friday deal where I can access the app and exercises for life for a good price so I went for it. When I say I have done every bloody diet programme there is it is not an exaggeration. God the money I have wasted so I am going to keep it simple for the next 365 days. Track what I eat, do exercise every day - even if its just a walk, write my blog and spend one hour a day on me.
If I could lose just 1 to 1.5 pounds a week I could get myself into the healthy weight bracket in a year but even to get out of the obese one would be great.
I am under no illusion that this is going to be hard for me I am very good at starting with the greatest of intentions but I know why I fail - isn't that a good thing....to know what causes me to fail. I figure maybe recognising why will help me ensure it doesn't happen now. I fail because I have a bad day, a busy day, I forget to track, forget to exercise, eat the wrong food and so I give up. Self sabotage. Also I put myself under pressure - for example - I have planned to have short hair again for years - I love my hair short but I felt my face was too fat - I want an elf hair cut and to look cute with a slim face. So my hair has been long - for YEARS and YEARS.
I am putting my life on hold waiting to be the perfect weight.
So I have short hair - I love it.
I am going to do this year but I am not going to hold it up for scrutiny in that it wont stop me doing what I want this year. I am running this alongside living my life. I guess I am embarrassed by the way I look and I feel like other people judge me for being over weight but the reality is no one gives a shit. My family and friends love me for me not how I look and people I don't know and see in the street - well they are too busy sorting their own crap out to care about me. The only person who has it out for me is ME.
So today is day one. Its my daughters 19th Birthday. The house is quiet and its just me and my coffee. Next up today.....exercise.
I will see you all tomorrow and let you know how I got on.
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